All it seems like I'm doing lately is working a lot. And when I say a lot, I mean A LOT. For the past 2 weeks I've put in a couple of 16 hour days and I have two more weeks of having to do my 3pm-7am shift. Between working and going to school, it's a lot. But once I finish school hopefully things will be better. I'm so tired of James Square. I'm tired of just wiping ass in general. There's gotta be more in life than just that. I've been putting in more hours than I've been needing to just so I can get overtime to pay overpriced rent for this cheap, easily breakable studio apartment. $610.00 a month. Its so rediculous. I cannot wait to buy new furnature and move away from this crap hole!! Hopefully this 2 bedroom in Liverpool works out for us. It would be sooo nice. We'll actually have DIFFERENT rooms to walk into. But yeah. One step at a time. Next summer should be great. Car should be payed off, computer should be payed off, hopefully my insurance will be down, and hopefully just that one long semester away from graduating from school. But yeah that's a year away. It seems like an eternity. And yaaaaay!! Mark isn't coming over this weekend or next weekend... Thank Goodness!!

Today was surprisingly pretty fun for me and Andy. Today was his sister's twin daughters Kaylie and Kayla's 1st birthday.  Me and Andy bought the girls stacking cups and a walker type thing. Me Andy and his sister Autumn walked to NoJaims and bought meat for the cookout we had. It was pretty good we had corn on the cob, salt potatoes, chips and dip, seasoned cheese burgers, barbeque chicken, sausage, macaroni and potato salad, and soda. Then after the cookout we had chocolate cake and icecream. Andy's brother Jimmy and his girlfriend Tiffany came down w/their 3 girls too. It was us and a house of 7 kids all under 5 lol so it was pretty fun all day long. Autumn asked me and Andy to be Kayla's godparents. He was happy because he loves that baby so much because she's so tiny for her age lol. Im not sure who she is getting for the other twins godparents. Then Andys grandma and his cousin danielle came down. I like his grandma so much she's so cool for a woman in her 60s you can talk to her about anything and she's so young at heart. She's like one of them "cool grandmas" lol. Danielle is pregnant and due at the end of october, early november. Im glad Andys family all loves me. They are such nice people and they know how much we love eachother. Autumn is so nice too. I'm glad I finally have her myspace so we can keep in touch. Im surprised that Tiffany even requested me on myspace because I thought she didn't like me at all. But I guess she does or else she wouldn't of even requested me lol. I'm happy that we're all getting along because I want Andys family to like me as much as he does. Well not AS MUCH as he does, but you know what I mean. It's been such a long time since I even written anything on here...I guess I'll start again =)
TTYL

I'm so happy right now things are finally starting to go good for me and Andy. Today we went to chestnut crossing on James St and we finally did it!! We finally have a place where we can both call home :) We sign the lease on Friday and that's also the day we move in. It's so beautiful!! The apartment is furnished w/like brand new furniture. Its a cute little place and its pretty nice for being a 1st apartment that we have. I love that things are going so good right now.

I had a bad night tonight. Andy was joking around (he wasn't serious by any means) one day we were over alice's house and Andy asked my little cousin Nick..do you like girls? Then Nick said no and andy asked do you like boys and nick laughed and said no. But people take things way to seriously Alice was like don't call him gay I'm telling Tracy (his mom). So she told Tracy. Then me and Andy were at Alice's house today visiting w/my mom and Tracy just randomly walks in and said "Andy you have a problem w/my son?" I didn't even let Andy answer her I just jumped up starting yelling at her saying "no he doesn't have a problem w/you son" we exchanged some pretty in depth statements and she like punched the tv. And I was like what, you wanna hit something I'm right here. So she took her coat off and jumped on me when I was laying down. I pulled her hair so her head was close down to me and I punched her like 15 straight times in her head. She got me in the head a couple times and she kicked me in the stomach and I kicked her in the head. While this was all going on Nick and his sister Selena ran upstairs and got Ronniece and she pulled Tracy away. Andy and my mom had to pull me away. One time andy pushed her off of me and jumped on me to block her from hitting me. I was like screaming at her "you think i'm scared of you? yeah right" and i told her don't ever fucking talk to me again and yadda yadda. So yeah I'm on BAD terms w/Tracy. I told her learn how to take a joke I understand that it's her son but it's not like you know that he called him fag or made him cry. It was a joke. Come on... my mom was funny at the mall i was like "it's 9 already?" and my mom said yeah you woke up from your nap around 7:15 and by almost 8 you were done kicking Tracy's ass lol. Andy said just get your stuff we'll go to the mall so you can calm down. My mom decided to come w/us which was nice because right now, those two are physically the most closest people to me right now. I don't care if it's harsh but from today on I disowned her. Fuck that bitch. But I have a strong feeling everytime we cross paths I'm gonna have a fight w/her I know it. But honestly I don't care. As long as I never have to see that ugly bitch again who takes all of her mom's money. And also I'm stuck living at Andy's still... Because Alice has no room there. But I don't care I don't wanna be in that house anyway. One good thing that I have going for me is that I still have Andy by my side of course, and as of today I'm a Home Health Aide (almost). I got over the biggest hurdle. I passed my test today. All I have to do is wait 90 days for my supervisor to observe me working 2 times and I'll be certfied. YESSSSSS!! One other thing I'm happy about... I'm more successful than Tracy :-D and I know I always will be.

 

Tonights the night I'm moving out! I'm moving to my aunt's because I lost my last nerve. A couple days ago Andy's sister comes in my face yelling at me like anything I do is really her business. She said I changed her family and she called me fat and 400 pounds and all that. I got my 2 cents in thats why I didn't care. I told her at least I'm not anorexic and anything I do isn't her damn business. Now everyone except Andy, talks behind my back. It's just taking a toll on me emotionally and psychologically and I just can't take it anymore. So I packed up all my stuff and I'm leaving tonight. I always talked about doing it for months and months so its definately time that I do something about it. Tomorrow is my final exam for my home health aide certification. Hopefully I do good.

Right now Andy is at work and it feels so weird being home w/out him here because believe it or not this is the first night I spent at this house since he's been working. I'm probably going to go to bed soon. I'm going to very much enjoy the sleep. Tomorrow is the St. Patrick's Day parade. Andy wants to go w/me so he's gonna come home around 8 in the morning sleep for 2 hours go to the parade w/me come home and do more sleeping lol. I'm going to enjoy sleeping in tomorrow because this whole week I got 4 maybe 5 hours a night. I get a chance to catch up. I tried calling my mom today but I couldn't get an answer from Alice's phone or my mom's cell. It's weird. She called here today from her cell around 2 something...I try calling her back and it seems like it's impossible to reach her. I don't know. I'll try calling tomorrow. I'm happy right now. The house is quiet; for now anyway.

I've completed the first week of my classes and I love everything. Its so interesting. Not only is it an escape from this house for 8 hours but I can talk to people who actually like me and actually have a job that I can move up easily in and actually doing something productive w/my life unlike anyone else in this house, besides Andy and his dad. After being a Home Health Aide for 3 months, I can move up to become a CNA, if i work as a CNA for 3 yrs, FOR St. Camillus, then THEY'LL pay for me to go to BOCES and get my LPN liscence. That class is 11 months, and while I'm doing classes, I would get paid half of my salary that I would be making as an LPN. After I get liscensed I don't have to work for St. Camillus, I can go to St. Joseph's or anywhere that need LPN's but most likely I would want to go back to St.Camillus. If things go right Andy and I will be out of here by May 1st because we were looking at Chestnut Crossing on James St. and it was so beautiful. I  can't wait! It's a studio, it's between 560-580 a month I forgot but yeah it does seem a bit pricey for a studio but it is well worth the price. It has a fitness center, it comes w/internet and cable, and all of the utilities (electric and heat) are all included which was quite attractive to me and Andy because that's quite a deal. It's going to be like my own apt....then Andy's own apt because Andy works 3rd shift (11 pm-7:30 am) and he'll be sleeping during the day, and I'll be working during the day and by the time I'm about to go to bed he'll be leaving to go to work. It's exciting. Andy came home from work today w/a scrumptious chocolate cake, chocolate moose, w/little peices of chocolate on the sides, and cherries on top it was soooo good. We're spliting it between the two of us because today is our 18 month anniversary. We didn't eat it all in one sitting of course because theres only so much chocolate cake that I can take at a time. He's got 14 hours next week, but he's not the only one like that almost all of the night crew got less hours just for this week because they wanna give the new guys they hired some time to learn. Andy's friend Josh from work has the same plans as me and Andy do. Josh wants to move out w/his girlfriend and he was upset that he only got 14 hours as well. That's not permenant though. But the good thing about Andy is no matter what the schedule says, his manager always asks him to come in early and also asks him to come in extra nights when he doesn't have to work. So he's not really ever scraped for hours.

Yesterday was a good day for me. Me, my mom and Andy went to walmart. Andy bought my scrubs, my nurse shoes, McDonalds, pudding and strawberry shortcake. We were supposed to go to KFC but I was really hungry and we just ate there. I told my mom me and her can make another day to o there. I'm happy I finally start my long awaited classes on monday. I have to wake up by 5!! I have to be there by 7:20 because I guess someone is meeting us in the lobby of St.Camillus and classes start at 7:30. Today pushed me over the edge. I'm like a second away from packing up my shit and moving to my mom's. Andy was trying to show me how to clean out the turtle tank and I mean if I never done it before, naturally I'm not going to know how to do it. Andy's other sister Chrissy came out of nowhere and looked at Andy and said "you really got yourself a winner there huh" I felt like saying yeah I am a winner, I'm smart, I have a good paying job, I actually have goals in life and ambitions and for one thing I'm not 23 years old still living at home working at Save a Lot making 7.50 an hour. I mean yeah a job's a job...but she's an adult and she's not even trying to do anything w/her life..it's not like she goes to school or anything. But whatever...yeah Andy did get himself a winner. I've done a lot more for him than anyone in this whole house ever has. She needs to keep her nose where it belongs...and where it belongs definately isn't in our relationship. She needs to get a fucking life and stay out of ours. One good thing that happened this weekend is that Andy had Friday and Saturday off of work. So I got to see him and be w/him those 2 nights. The sad thing is he has to go back :( lol. I see it this way, at least he's making money and I have a good job that I can move up very fast in and we're both making an effort to move out. I have such a bad headache right now. I was crying earlier after that whole situation and Andy said "don't cry over her she's stupid and don't know what she's talking about" He said while we have a nice house and family she'll probably be all alone w/her animals haha. And he told me regardless of what anyone says that I'm always a winner in his eyes. That cheered me up.  

Yesterday Andy and I went half on a new Dell laptop and I paid for internet so now I should be able to update my journal a lot more. And that makes me very happy :) I'm very bored right now. Andy went to sleep at 11:30 this morning and I knew he was tired because he was being extra annoying lol but I am not saying that to be mean he's even said it. "Kim if I ever seem extra extra annoying, it just means I'm tired". Even when he's not tired he can be a little annoying lol but that's okay I love him anyway. It's just a guy thing. But yeah, right now he's still asleep, he went to work last night at 11, then came home at about 9:30 or so because he works extra hours everytime the boss asks him to which is a good thing but I wish I can see more of him. This is his routine: go to work at 11 at night, come home around..8/9 in the morning, wake up about 6/7, take a bath around 8:30 pm, eats, brushes his teeth, changes into his uniform, then when all is said and done, he leaves at 10:15 to walk downtown to catch the 10:35 bus, then the whole day starts over again. When I see him, he's either eating, or changing. I miss him during the day but I'm sure me and him can work around this. I love him for everything he's trying to do to help us move out of his house and into our own place. I'm TRYING to contribute to our cause, but my job takes forever. It's one big long process. I originally was supposed to have an in-house physical at St.Camillus, hopefully my future employer once it's all said and done, but the weather was too bad that day and they cancelled everything, now I can't do my physical until March 3rd. I can't wait because the sooner that's done, the sooner I can start my classes and the sooner I can be hired and start making money. I get bored and lonely during the day and I need something to focus my mind on while I can't see him. It may take time but we are both definately on our way to moving out. Which is going to be good for us emotionally and mentally. We are both being driven up the walls there. Ever since Amber has been letting her boyfriend John sleep over (and basically live there) the house has been basically turning into a frat-house. It's like wooo party all night and all day. I personally do not think I'm being treated fairly at his house. John eats there, sleeps there, (and mind you, he eats like 10 times the amount that I do) and he pays NO rent at all. Me, I sleep at my mom's almost every night when Andy's working...pays $100.00 a month. And for what? For being judged for eating, For doing everything that Amber's little boyfriend does but a whole lot less. It's NOT fair. Andy got really ticked yesterday. Yesterday was wonderful because I got to spend the whole day w/Andy and my mother, the two people I care about more than anything in the world at the moment. We went to the mall and got Taco Bell. My mom had Chinese. Then I got my internet. Then I went to go rent a computer from Aaron's and as I was filling out an application the guy came up to me and said "don't even waste your time because I'm not going to rent to you" you know why? I have a feeling it's because my mom rented from them in the past and returned the stuff. Yeah it was within a couple of months, but what's the big deal? Honestly it's not fair. How can people reflect what my mother did onto me?? Then Andy said, let me try to rent it and the guy said "no" I mean it's not right because Andy isn't even a part of my family and he didn't even give him a chance. What the hell. I said to him "that was my mother, not me. I'm going to pay my bill." He still said no and finally I said "well, first of all you don't know me, you don't know MY credit and obviously you don't want my business". I tore up the application threw it on the ground in front of him and told him to go fuck himself then I walked out.  Me and Andy went to Rent-a-Center where they are 100% nicer and actually know how to conduct a business and KEEP customers. So in the end it all worked out. I got a computer, I gave that guy a piece of my mind (and he hasn't heard the last of me so yeah hopefully he has a job lined up because when I'm done w/him that fake business man will be canned), and yeah...that's it lol. I pretty much poured my heart out from like the past week all the way up till' yesterday. My wrist is hurting :( I'll write later...or tomorrow...or whenever.

  Tomorrow unfortunately I have to go back to that hell-hole of a house. I'm gonna hate it sooo much. Today was fun.. we ordered Papa John's pizza.  I spent all day looking at wedding stuff online. Andy's not telling me which Valentine's Day...but in a year or so he's gona propose to me on that day, with a romantic dinner. I've been looking at wedding cakes, and dresses and limos online so I can get a rough idea on how much I need to save up. It's going to be a very exciting day for us, our friends and our families. A couple years after we get married we plan on having our first baby :) he's the guy I want to be w/forever. He's caring, sweet, romantic and puts me ahead of himself all the time. Andy's looking at engagement rings for me and it's so sweet. I probably won't be on for many weeks to come lol because w/Andy and Mark working, it will be impossible for them to see if they have the same days off. Mark is weird and embarrassing. That's all I'm going to say. He talks about porn and blah blah blah. That's it for now.